Fall ’s officially here because the leaves that were on the trees in my curtilage last week are now all over my lawn . Bugger that . These seven putz will get my G cleaned , primped , and ready for hibernation .
Do n’t express mirth , a Buckeye gets catch in a lawnmower blade and there ’s a well chance it ’s exiting at maiming speed . At the same full point , I ’m broadly speaking too lazy to in reality bow down and pick them before cutting the grass . That ’s where the Garden Weasel Nut Gatherer come in . Its wire tine collection basket sits at the remainder of a tenacious handle and picks up humble objects as you roll it over them . obviously it can find fault up pecans , acorns , walnut , butternut , hickory egg , chestnuts , filberts , mucilage testicle , come , fruit , small balls , belittled pine strobilus , cum heads , shotgun shells , reusable paint musket ball , and pretty much everything else small than your clenched fist . $ 37
Yeah , like I ’m going to drop my Saturday afternoon pushing a lawn mower or bear some kid to half - ass his way around my edging . No , this is the 21st century and it ’s high time robots begin pull their weight . The RL-2000 is designed to cut tumid M , traditionally the solitary realm of lawn tractors . This programmable 5.5HP grass guillotine will automatically mow your thousand on a schedule you make up one’s mind and will naught but a ok mulch in its wake . $ 2800
If I ’m too busy to need a automatic lawn mower , you recall I ’ve got enough meter to manhandle all that mulch into garbage bag with a rip ? No , this is the sort of job for a Cyclone Rake . The Commander model has a 6HP vacuum engine , a 285 gal capacity ( 38 cubic feet ) , and can hook up to your lawn tractor , turn it into a rideable leaf- and mulch - hoovering dynamo . Plus , no slugs crawling up your pant leg when you ’re throng the leaf . Starting at $ 1500
So , now I ’ve catch 285 gallons of leaves and lawn mulch in a big bundle , freakin ’ rattling — now what ? One option is to mulch everything with the Flowtron LE-900 . This galvanic folio shredder can reduce garden waste by a agent of 30:1 . $ 170
Lawns call for oxygen almost as much as they need water , which is why aerating my yard before the weather condition turn is a must . The 60 - inch Yard Tuff barrel aerator is brood with 126 three - inch spike that penetrate up to 2 3/4 - inches mystifying , cater my lawn ’s theme with the gentle wind they call for . The membranophone roller ship at a hefty 180 pound , but can be filled with up to 40 gallons of water system for a monolithic 482 - pound wheeling weight . Now if only someone would figure out how to infuse that water with fertilizer and inject it through the ear , I ’d be able to oxygenise and feed my lawn at the same time . $ 330
So there ’s a sizeable sight of uncut logs behind my house that I ’ve been think to chop and restack since about April . Unfortunately they ’re now infested with spiders and earwigs so no . No , I ’m not getting prick / have testis set in me just so I can use my fireplace this wintertime and I ’m certain as hell not going to break up them by hand like some Luddite . Instead , I ’d rather apply the WoodEze 4 - Ton Electric Log Splitter . Just adulterate a 20 - column inch retentive log into the press and the 1.75HP motor presses the wood against a wedge until it go bad pop . Plus , it ’s galvanic which means I can use it indoors if the indigence arises . $ 387
What better way to appreciate the hard workplace of winterise my lawn than with a hot tub political party ? The Paragon Spa Medallion 350 is one of the pimpest hot vat ever guess . It suit eight hoi polloi and has 70 jets powered by three 5.0HP watering place pumps . Oh , and did I mention the giant Sunglo LED lighting plus dual LED - lit waterfall ? Because it has those too . $ 16,500
Because I want amusement while enjoying my stigma - new red-hot bathtub . Bring out the squirrels ! $ 45
Top image courtesy ofSteve Heap / Shutterstock
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