We all be intimate that one person who can walk into a alien ’s party and make friends with everyone , from the host to their third - full cousin ’s boyfriend . Is it their good looks ? Their winkle wit ? AsScience of Us reports , this elusive likability factor could be chalked up to their inquisitive little - talk style , judge bya new paperpublished in theJournal of Personality and Social Psychology .
Harvard Business School researcher carry a series of studies to see how doubt - asking impact someone ’s likability [ PDF ] . Participants engaged in a two - way anonymous instant message conversation , in which one person was haphazardly assigned to ask either a low ( at most four ) or a high ( at least nine ) number of questions to get to know the other individual . Afterwards , subjects reported their feelings about both the conversation and their partner , and how they thought the soul felt about them following their 15 - moment exchange .
for certain enough , researchers institute that conversation cooperator preferred high question - askers to low question - askers . People who necessitate more questions “ are perceived as higher in reactivity , an interpersonal construct that captures listen , understanding , validation , and care , ” they theorized .
It might seem like a no - brainer to politely ask a new conversancy about themselves — but as the researchers taper out , multiple studies show that most people choose to discourse theirownselves during a conversation . And in this particular study , neutral observers who read transcripts of the experimentation ’s conversations did n’t show any preference for mellow question askers versus low interrogative askers . This suggests that the great unwashed may not be mindful that enquiry - asking is a key agency to make a plus first impression . So next time you ’re at a soiree , turn toward the person next to you at the buffet mesa and involve them if they wish the dip . You may be surprised at how quickly you two become friends .
[ h / tScience of Us ]
